Could it be possible that sometimes we decide to get a dog because we can’t deal with the world as it is?
Everyone, in their own way, is sensitive to the hardships that are currently being experienced by many on a global level – war, poverty, crime, unemployment, depression, exhaustion, divorce, illness and feelings of powerlessness.
A common everyday example of getting a dog to hide what we can’t bear to feel is when we lose a long term partner and our friends suggest a dog to keep us company. Rather than feel what it is to be alone after so long and to deal with what comes up for us around this, often we choose to avoid feeling the truth of being alone, and so we agree with our friends and we get the dog.
Whilst everyone involved in this decision probably has the best intentions thinking that it is kinder for people to be eased into a life alone after a long term relationship comes to an end, it does beg the question, is that choice the best option for the person? Should other options be considered? And what of the dog coming to a house to ‘fill in’ for the lost partner – how will it be for her or him?
We champion a world where we are left alone in the comfort of the existence we have carved out for ourselves. We have a job that pays us enough money, we have friends, we have things to do, we have a home – and, come the weekend, we have a dog we can walk and play with. So why look any deeper than that? Well, its true, we don’t have to look deeper than that, but if you do get a dog - the dog will reflect the deeper truth back to you, so you might as well take a pro-active role in feeling what is really going on at home before you feel the ‘pain’ of the reflections from your dog!
Most of what we are offered online and in the media about dogs is soft fluffy stuff to make us feel good about ourselves – pink collars with hearts to purchase, organic food to feed them , funky coats to dress them up in, expensive beds for them to sleep in, feel good stories about how much they love us and endless Youtube videos of funny moments. Dogs are a great source of fun and playfulness and certainly I have a really playful relationship with my dog, but I am also very aware of another side to her that is directly related to me and my personal development. This part of her is very sensitive to all that I do and how I live, so I don't ask her to provide me with emotional sustenance, or to act as an entertainment factor, or as a distraction from my life. Rather I expect her to reflect to me, honestly, how I am going and from that I can gauge how she is going also. Together there is 'work' to do and she must keep her end of the arrangement up.
So if you were to start the relationship with a spiritual and emotional emptiness that you are looking the dog to fill – how will the relationship progress? Let me answer that, cause I see a few of these every now and then. You want something from the dog, so you are already coming from a place of asking. Dogs need authority and direction, they do not need to be asked. Ask a dog and you will most likely not get the answer that pleases you – and that is basically, that the dog will misbehave, it will demand constant attention and slowly, it will start to rule your household. Sure, you will have company, but there will be many nights that you wish you were alone, left to the peace and quiet of a human only existence where you can contemplate your life, the universe and everything else!
In this instance, the dog will be blamed for being a nuisance, for being untrained, for acting stupid, or demanding or neurotic or something. But the truth is that the dog is reflecting back to the human that the human was untrained, demanding, neurotic and possibly stupid when he/she thought a dog would fill in for a feeling that the human refused to feel. So much easier to feel the pain of the loss of a loved one, to feel how much we relied on them or how much we were dependent on them for our sense of self…or whatever there is to feel. If we do this AND have a dog, we will end up with a balanced and loving relationship that will allow you to continue to develop as a human being and have a dog by your side whilst you do it…..a dog who will happily reflect love and who will remind you how to play and have fun.
Everyone, in their own way, is sensitive to the hardships that are currently being experienced by many on a global level – war, poverty, crime, unemployment, depression, exhaustion, divorce, illness and feelings of powerlessness.
A common everyday example of getting a dog to hide what we can’t bear to feel is when we lose a long term partner and our friends suggest a dog to keep us company. Rather than feel what it is to be alone after so long and to deal with what comes up for us around this, often we choose to avoid feeling the truth of being alone, and so we agree with our friends and we get the dog.
Whilst everyone involved in this decision probably has the best intentions thinking that it is kinder for people to be eased into a life alone after a long term relationship comes to an end, it does beg the question, is that choice the best option for the person? Should other options be considered? And what of the dog coming to a house to ‘fill in’ for the lost partner – how will it be for her or him?
We champion a world where we are left alone in the comfort of the existence we have carved out for ourselves. We have a job that pays us enough money, we have friends, we have things to do, we have a home – and, come the weekend, we have a dog we can walk and play with. So why look any deeper than that? Well, its true, we don’t have to look deeper than that, but if you do get a dog - the dog will reflect the deeper truth back to you, so you might as well take a pro-active role in feeling what is really going on at home before you feel the ‘pain’ of the reflections from your dog!
Most of what we are offered online and in the media about dogs is soft fluffy stuff to make us feel good about ourselves – pink collars with hearts to purchase, organic food to feed them , funky coats to dress them up in, expensive beds for them to sleep in, feel good stories about how much they love us and endless Youtube videos of funny moments. Dogs are a great source of fun and playfulness and certainly I have a really playful relationship with my dog, but I am also very aware of another side to her that is directly related to me and my personal development. This part of her is very sensitive to all that I do and how I live, so I don't ask her to provide me with emotional sustenance, or to act as an entertainment factor, or as a distraction from my life. Rather I expect her to reflect to me, honestly, how I am going and from that I can gauge how she is going also. Together there is 'work' to do and she must keep her end of the arrangement up.
So if you were to start the relationship with a spiritual and emotional emptiness that you are looking the dog to fill – how will the relationship progress? Let me answer that, cause I see a few of these every now and then. You want something from the dog, so you are already coming from a place of asking. Dogs need authority and direction, they do not need to be asked. Ask a dog and you will most likely not get the answer that pleases you – and that is basically, that the dog will misbehave, it will demand constant attention and slowly, it will start to rule your household. Sure, you will have company, but there will be many nights that you wish you were alone, left to the peace and quiet of a human only existence where you can contemplate your life, the universe and everything else!
In this instance, the dog will be blamed for being a nuisance, for being untrained, for acting stupid, or demanding or neurotic or something. But the truth is that the dog is reflecting back to the human that the human was untrained, demanding, neurotic and possibly stupid when he/she thought a dog would fill in for a feeling that the human refused to feel. So much easier to feel the pain of the loss of a loved one, to feel how much we relied on them or how much we were dependent on them for our sense of self…or whatever there is to feel. If we do this AND have a dog, we will end up with a balanced and loving relationship that will allow you to continue to develop as a human being and have a dog by your side whilst you do it…..a dog who will happily reflect love and who will remind you how to play and have fun.
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