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Training Dogs

5/7/2016

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​Have you given any thought to what you want to get out of training your dog?
​I grew up in a country town where we expected our dogs to be in the yard, to be tied up outside all night and to be able to hang around and do their own thing all day. Maybe they would go across the road to the park, maybe they would sleep in the sun in the backyard, maybe we would take them in the ute to the tip or maybe they would just hang out at the back door waiting for the next thing to happen. We didn’t fence them, we didn’t spend time training them, we just expected them to fit in…..and for the most part, they did !
How the majority of people live with dogs now is very different to the years when I was growing up.  Now, what we expect or want from training deserves some consideration before starting to attend classes.
​Working with a range of different people and dogs as I do, I have found it much more inclusive to firstly not work in a way that is looking for perfection.  Rather,  I have found that allowing everyone to be who they are in the class and to work without the expectation of herding people and their dogs into a perfect fit, everyone gets so much more from training. If we are basing our training on the first foundational brick being ourselves, then we need to be solid in who we are and feel the authority of that throughout our body.  Just getting to this can take some of us a few classes !
Only once this is ‘mastered’ can we make the move toward instructing our dog.  If I instruct my dog from a body
​that is full of anger or anxiety or doubt, then the dog can feel that and that feeling can cause confusion in the training session.
 
Once we get to the instruction part of the class, then it is usually as simple as consistency and supporting the dog to understand what you asking of them.  I don’t know why but it seems that dogs need the same instructions over and over their entire life, so get used to being the instructor and get used to being very verbal with your dog !
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Many classes offer straight up pet obedience and others offer the opportunity to socialize as well as train your dog. Harmony 4 Dogs offers the socializing and training plus a wider perspective by putting the human-canine relationship first and making sure that is the foundation for everything else to be built upon. 

Any of these dog class options can work well, its just a matter of you choosing which one fits best with both you and your dog.



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A Visit To The Vet

7/30/2015

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Richard is the sort of vet you dream of having. He loves Enid, he takes his time, he touches her in a gentle way and talks in detail with me, respecting that I do have a place in the decision making process.

During a visit to Richard, some time ago now, we talked vaccinations and the choices around that for Enid. Then we talked heartworm treatments. The heartworm injection is like a capsule that they inject into the system and it releases slowly the fluid that will kill off any larvae in the system over a year. I felt into what Richard was sharing with me about the heartworm and then opted for the monthly tablets instead. Which brings me to my thought for the day. 

Intuition or the knowledge of science when caring for dogs?

In the every day world, caring for dogs is headed up by veterinary science, then the alternative vets, homeopaths, naturopaths etc, followed by dog trainers, dog behaviouralists, dog groomers and finally the owners. Often, within this hierarchy it is easy, as a mere owner,  to feel inadequate, for how could I know what is right or wrong for my dog,  based on what I feel? Veterinary science is such an awesome support for our dogs but how can I know the ins and outs about everything that is being advised to me?  Feeling intimidated in the face of such knowledge can be quite common, but it is certainly not a reason to outright reject western vet medicine either. 

When you visit your vet take the carefully communicated veterinary knowledge into consideration and use it as a guide alongside what you feel from your own intuition.  Then you can discuss the situation from every angle with your vet,  remembering that often we know what is best for our dogs but go into doubt around what we feel.

For me, I have to make sure I am really feeling myself before I can make decisions about Enid.  If I am not, if I am distracted with a worry about something else in my life, or if I am having a bad day and not feeling so good about myself then I have reason to doubt what I feel or know intuitively . That doubt , in turn, can let in the weight of fear that is behind some (not all)  of the veterinary suggestions for maintaining health in dogs. I don’t want that fear to be my guide, I want to be my own guide. If I make the decision when I am feeling good within myself, I really know that my decision is the right way to go for Enid and it is not based on what the vet suggested nor that I am deliberately going against what the vet suggested.

The other area I have observed to play a large part when making decisions, is emotions. If any emotional feeling is the driving force behind making doggy health care decisions, you cannot guarantee the quality of the decision. Emotions muddy up our care, that is one of the reasons why we lean on science – because it feels so sure and strong in amongst the swaggering and swaying of emotions and we feel like we must do the right thing for our dog. If you can feel connected to yourself, then the decisions about what to do will seem effortless and very ‘right’. Even when the situation is life or death and everything is going on, we are extremely capable of pulling back from any emotions and making clear decisions, we just have to learn how to be with ourselves, instead of reacting to what is going on around us.

Observe not absorb what is going on around you, listen to the science based evidence and then, from your own clarity and intuition, decide and act in the most loving and supportive way for yourself and for your dog's health and wellbeing.

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Why Am I Getting a New Dog?

5/30/2015

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Could it be possible that sometimes we decide to get a dog because we can’t deal with the world as it is? 
Everyone, in their own way, is sensitive to the hardships that are currently being experienced by many on a global level – war, poverty, crime, unemployment, depression, exhaustion, divorce, illness and feelings of powerlessness.

A common everyday example of getting a dog to hide what we can’t bear to feel is when we lose a long term partner and our friends suggest a dog to keep us company.  Rather than feel what it is to be alone after so long and to deal with what comes up for us around this, often we choose to avoid feeling the truth of being alone, and so we agree with our friends and we get the dog. 

Whilst everyone involved in this decision probably has the best intentions thinking that it is kinder for people to be eased into a life alone after a long term relationship comes to an end, it does beg the question, is that choice the best option for the person? Should other options be considered? And what of the dog coming to a house to ‘fill in’ for the lost partner – how will it be for her or him?

We champion a world where we are left alone in the comfort of the existence we have carved out for ourselves. We have a job that pays us enough money, we have friends, we have things to do, we have a home – and, come the weekend, we have a dog we can walk and play with. So why look any deeper than that? Well, its true, we don’t have to look deeper than that, but if you do get a dog  - the dog will reflect the deeper truth back to you, so you might as well take a pro-active role in feeling what is really going on at home before you feel the ‘pain’ of the reflections from your dog!

Most of what we are offered online and in the media about dogs is soft fluffy stuff to make us feel good about ourselves – pink collars with hearts to purchase, organic food to feed them , funky coats to dress them up in, expensive beds for them to sleep in, feel good stories about how much they love us and endless Youtube videos of funny moments. Dogs are a great source of fun and playfulness and certainly I have a really playful relationship with my dog, but I am also very aware of another side to her that is directly related to me and my personal development. This part of her is very sensitive to all that I do and how I live, so I don't ask her to provide me with emotional sustenance, or to act as an entertainment factor, or as a distraction from my life. Rather I expect her to reflect to me, honestly, how I am going and from that I can gauge how she is going also. Together there is 'work' to do and she must keep her end of the arrangement up.

So if you were to start the relationship with a spiritual and emotional emptiness that you are looking the dog to fill – how will the relationship progress? Let me answer that, cause I see a few of these every now and then. You want something from the dog, so you are already coming from a place of asking. Dogs need authority and direction, they do not need to be asked. Ask a dog and you will most likely not get the answer that pleases you – and that is basically, that the dog will misbehave, it will demand constant attention and slowly, it will start to rule your household.  Sure, you will have company, but there will be many nights that you wish you were alone, left to the peace and quiet of a human only existence where you can contemplate your life, the universe and everything else!

In this instance, the dog will be blamed for being a nuisance, for being untrained, for acting stupid, or demanding or neurotic or something. But the truth is that the dog is reflecting back to the human that the human was untrained, demanding, neurotic and possibly stupid when he/she thought a dog would fill in for a feeling that the human refused to feel. So much easier to feel the pain of the loss of a loved one, to feel how much we relied on them or how much we were dependent on them for our sense of self…or whatever there is to feel. If we do this AND have a dog, we will end up with a balanced and loving relationship that will allow you to continue to develop as a human being and have a dog by your side whilst you do it…..a dog who will happily reflect love and who will remind you how to play and have fun.


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Death and Dying

2/6/2015

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I have often made comment that death is honest - you can’t deceive it. By that I mean it is a moment that we cannot avoid. It is however, also a time of grace, of learning, of allowing and of love.

Because dogs do not have fear of death, left to their own devices, ie without the complexity of human emotions to hold them back, they would go toward it quickly. There is no reason for delay, to them death is a part of life. Their ‘honesty’ with death is enormous.

As that time comes closer though, usually we will be inundated with friends and well wishers advising us what to do. Everything from ‘keep them alive’,  to ‘don’t let it go on too long’,   to commenting on how much pain our dog is in,  to suggesting that the suffering is unnecessary and advising us how to help with the pain and/or discomfort our dog is in.

But whose discomfort is it that is spoken of at this time? Is it the dog’s or is it the human’s?

If we fall into the trap of feeling emotional about death, if we buy into the theory of pain and suffering instead of actually feeling our dogs and checking in to see how they are really going, then we can find ourselves in a bit of trouble as regards making clear decisions.  If we can stay with unemotional clarity and if, from there, we can assure our dogs that they are free to die when and how they choose and that we will support them wholeheartedly, then they will go when they are ready. If there is any doubt or need in the person, then the dog will stay, and stay, and stay until we have to finally say, ‘OK buddy its time to go now’.
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To ‘supervise’ a harmonious death for our dog/s, we need to know how to live harmoniously. When we approach death as if it were just another stage of life, when we can be with our dogs in a non emotional and supportive way, when we bring the gentle authority of our bodies to training, feeding, walking – it is possible to feel true harmony and connection, even in the dying stages. Stay with our bodies, feel what comes up, deal with it and allow ourselves the space to make clear decisions on our own, about our dog/s and what they need. This is harmonious living.


Any choice we make for our dog within the death and dying journey that has come from the MIND, we make for ourselves, not for our dog.
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Dogs Are Energy, We Are Energy

1/1/2015

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Most of us humans love dogs.

Dogs are happy and spontaneous and infectious with their joy. 

But often when we live with them we find out that they are naughty and uncontrollable, that they bark too much, they run away, they attack other dogs, they make a mess in the house, they smell, they bite, they jump up and the list goes on.

So is there a common contributing factor that occurs between the happy, spontaneous and joyful dog and the uncontrollable, messy, noisey, inconvenient dog that they sometimes become?

Yes there is,  and that factor is the human being. 

Once this notion is understood and has been established as the foundation to your relationship with your dog, it gets a whole lot easier.

Recently, a client brought me their barking dog, a dog who pulls constantly when on the lead and who attacks other dogs. The first thing we do is to put the lead on and start walking to see what the bodies of the dog and the person are doing.

The dog is out the front sniffing the ground constantly, going frenetically from side to side – looking, looking, sniffing, sniffing. The owner is stopping in her walk to allow the dog time to sniff everything, to wander off track to look behind the bush. She is also getting pulled back when the dog wants to stop to pay particular attention to a certain smell under a tree. In other words, the owner is getting pulled and pushed by the dog, who thinks he has full control (and he does) of the situation and can do whatever he wants.


No good just training the dog to walk beside the owner, which is easy enough to do, the owner needs to use her energy to tell the dog that she is the authority in this twosome, she is the leader and that he needs to do what she, the human, is asking of him. The human will bring into play the energy of the ‘pack instinct’ of the dog to reinforce who the leader is and will therefore reduce the anxiety in her dog which, in this specific case,  caused him to attack other dogs. The reason he was anxious was because he is not naturally a dominant dog and so to take the lead (ie leader of the humans in his house) was too much for him and he was anxious. This anxiety led to excessive barking, attacking and pulling on the lead.

Dogs are energy. We are energy. The relationship needs to be about harmony not perfection.  When we train our dogs, we must first  feel what is happening, both in us and in the dog , and work with the energy of our own bodies to both build and reinforce the harmonious behavior in our dogs.
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How It All Began

12/23/2014

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Fifteen years or so ago In Sydney, a girlfriend of mine said to me, ‘you don’t have a career as such, or a family, and so people don’t know where to place you, what box to put you in.’ It sort of shocked me to realise that people were that narrow and from that shocked reaction I bizarrely shared with her that I had always wanted a dog and a ute.

Living, at that time, a rather sophisticated Sydney life, I was unsure as to exactly how I would get a ute and a dog into my life…but destiny prevailed and a couple of years later I found myself in the Northern parts of NSW with an Australian Kelpie and a Nissan ute. And even though I had always wanted the ute and the dog...
I had no possible way of knowing what the dog would bring me – how that relationship would open my eyes and my heart, changing me forever.
Finally, I would now find a career that ‘those people’ could happily ‘box me in’.   

Over the years, prior to owning that Kelpie, I had recognised the need in us to look for validation outside ourselves. If I’d had an early career or family they would have provided that validation for me I’m sure.  But it felt to me that when we get those external validations - wealth, career, family, spiritual identity, etc, what they give us feels like a strength. But are they? I couldn’t help asking what are we really getting? And at what price? And if those things don’t bring us true self esteem, or love or a real sense of purpose, what does?

My blog is about all that, AND the road we walk with dogs. This road can lead to many a revelation if we travel it with energetic awareness. It can teach us how to live from our own inner strength , it can teach us about the magic of God, about the animal kingdom and it can teach us how to hold a personal quality that brings harmony, not only for ourselves but for the whole family.
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Golden the Kelpie

Importantly the road we walk with dogs can help us to live honestly. Dishonesty with ourselves is often what holds us back from living the lives we really want….and the honesty of a dog is strong. As a client of mine once said, ‘If I had known that dogs reflect this deep level of ourselves back to us, I wouldn’t have got this dog!’.

I hope you enjoy these sharings.
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    Deb McBride

    Bark your head off!

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The connection between my dog Marley and I was transformed in just one session with Deb. I was supported to try a new way forward and I gained incredible insight into why my dog had certain behavioural characteristics and how I played a role in his behaviour... I highly recommend this experience for anyone wanting to connect and understand the relationship between ones self and their beloved dog.

Tracy Aisbett, Brisbane QLD

All content copyright Deb McBride except where otherwise stated. Beach photos by Alan Johnston, park photos by Clayton Lloyd. Website by Kelly Fenech.